Change is Good and brings me Back!

Well, hello, there!

Exactly 3 days after my last Blog Post, life as I knew it started to change dramatically, and in a great way. I ventured into something "new". Actually, not exactly "new". I had known about it for a year, I had known and read about the industry in general for at least 7 years and the industry has been around for at least 60 years.

I say "NEW" because I made a DECISION. I made a decision to start changing our lives and that was new. The decision was STRONG and came accompanied by a beautiful action plan I started developing in my heart and mind. The changes I envisioned coming are going to make all the difference. Not even 2 months have passed and I can attest that yes, life has been better already.

Now you may be asking yourself: "Well, I didn't know they were unhappy! I didn't know life was not good for them!" No, not at all. That was not the case! Life was good. In my opinion, though, life is an evolution and (good) continuous change is a big part of it we all shall seek no matter what. New dreams, new ideas, an enhanced personal development...No matter how great life is, why should we ever stop trying to better our lives, right? Why should we close ourselves to "the world"?

This is what I decided for me and my family, and this is why I've been missing in action here on the Blogosphere. I was dedicating much of my time to our new venture, however, now, I feel ready and comfortable in coming back to report more from the "Hip & Kind Mom" here on my Blog!

One thing I've been learning in these past 6 weeks: An open mind is one of our biggest allies in life. Negativity can never win and as I've "preached" for so long: being kind, giving back, supporting and helping great causes and great friends, strangers and yourself transforms your life "magically". And I love this.

(both images found on Google)

YOU

 Remember:

It's OK to feel like you need a break.
It's OK to feel exhausted.
It's OK to feel like you can't do it all, after all.
It's OK to call it the day and say "tomorrow will be a better day".
It's OK to find comfort in a hot shower, in the couch, in your pillows.
It's OK to eat that piece of chocolate if you want that piece of chocolate.
It's OK to cry. It's OK to cry a lot.
It's OK to not want to talk to anybody. Right now. The entire day.
It's OK to feel so overwhelmed that all you can think of is how overwhelmed you feel.
It's OK if that this overwhelming feeling makes you numb for a moment.
It's OK if you prefer to be alone the entire day.
It's OK if you want to be in your pajamas the entire day.
It's OK if you want to lay on the couch the entire day.
It's OK if you can't find any motivation to go workout today.
It's OK if you "don't care" today.
It's OK if you're sad today.

However, know this:

It is NOT OK if everyday you feel like this. It is NOT OK if you feel like that most of the time. It is NOT OK if you don't pay attention to what you feel and ignore the signs that something may be wrong.
It is NOT OK if you don't seek professional help.

It is NEVER OK to feel ashamed.
It is NEVER OK to assume "things will get better".
It is NEVER OK to not take care of yourself.
It is NEVER OK to live a sad life.
It is NEVER OK to not want to be happy.

You DESERVE to be the happiest person you can ever be.
You DESERVE love, no matter how you feel.
You DESERVE help, because help can make you stronger, better and happier.
You DESERVE to be listened to.

Ultimately, LISTEN to YOURSELF first and if something doesn't feel right in your heart and/or mind, never ignore it.
Only you can know YOU and allow yourself to HEAL. Allow yourself to HEAL. Start NOW.

With much love from me...

So what's wrong in thinking "I want to be a princess"?

Many little girls, including my girls LOVE anything and everything that has to do with being a "princess".

To be a princess, in their little and young world, means pretty much having a happy life, filled with love, laughter, living in a big pink, purple, glittery castle with a handsome Prince, singing and dancing all day long and going to castle parties at night, having lots of loving pets that may even speak to you and beautiful dresses. It's a fantasy world, and one that completely fascinates them.

While this maybe unrealistic view of what it's like to be a princess is spread all over movies, cartoons, toys,  books, theme parks (all of which I love, by the way), it often serves them as a starting point to many games and activities. I truly don't believe this is bad at all.

January 2011

This creative, imaginary, fantasy play is not always supported by everybody, and just listen around, as many parents, caregivers and educators say things like "Don't be silly! This is just make-believe!" or "Sorry, honey, but there's no such thing as prince charming. One day you'll understand.." or even "Let's get back to reality and do something useful!". I am not a child educator, nor am I a child psychology expert. But, I'm a parent, and have 2 little girls at home. I don't need to feed them any negativity, really.

What makes me believe there is something wonderful about this princess fantasy is that it brings them a "certainty" there is GOOD in life, that if you believe in your dreams, yes, they can come true. It makes them believe that good always wins over bad. Don't you see? It's a very early way of teaching them that what you believe will make your life, and that you have the absolute right to believe you deserve nothing but the best. It's a very early way of demonstrating that doing good things in life pays off. The noise we adults create just shatters their innocent minds, little by little destroying their expectations and creating a much more negative view of life they end up carrying with them through their teens and adulthood.

In my opinion, let the little girls believe in their dreams, let them play princess dress-up and talk to their pets. There is nothing but goodness in their hearts and they nurture their little happy world like that. Granted, some little girls don't like to play with dolls,  watch princess movies and so on. That's perfectly fine, too. I just say, if they love it, nurture it. Nurture the thought that dreams can come true when you believe in them and when you act upon them. Help them understand that it is our duty to create a happy and fun life and that we do create our life. Playing princess and nurturing the good in life is fantastic and can bring to your little girl nothing but happiness. Let them feel these feelings as often as possible!

And when my little Nati tells me that "Rapunzel" bought her new shoes at Target, I go along with it, answering "Wow, Nati! This is very special! Now, did you go with Rapunzel? What else did you buy at Target? I bet you had a lot of fun!..." She giggles and there's nothing but happiness around.

Pack on the building blocks!

An Instagram picture I posted on a Qunioa Salad and a talk I had yesterday with my husband gave me the idea for today's post: Protein!I'd like to talk about protein, its importance as building blocks for our bodies and the deliciousness it can be!

First of all, let me briefly tell you I grew up a total meat-eater. Hamburgers were my favorite food, and my Mom's Ham & Cheese Lasagna was also always a hit at home! I loved a succulent filet and loved dining at Brazilian Steakhouses. That all changed in my 20's. I'm not here to preach anybody on Vegetarianism, mostly because it is a personal choice (my children aren't even Vegetarians) but, after long admitting my passion for animals and silently "suffering" with them, I started cutting back on eating meat. It hasn't happened too long ago and not all at once! In fact, in 2009, when I was pregnant with Nati, I craved and ate hamburgers from "Five Guys" every single week. Last year I decided I was ready to become a full Vegetarian. After 5 months on it, I decided to change and become a Pescatorian, or Pescetarian - I went back to eating fish (Salmon, Tuna, Sea Bass). That's it for meat. No other meat. Needless to say, my protein intake in that half year dropped immensely. Although working out a bit, I still didn't have the muscles I had in 2010 and 2011.

In 2010 I did a wonderful 12-week program called "Body for Life". It was by far the best exercise and nutrition program I had ever done in my life. Not only did I drop 10% of my body fat in only 12 weeks, but I also gained so much lean muscle mass. I kept it up a bit in 2011, but didn't maintain it properly, and now I am back to it again. I started the program 2 weeks ago, and so far, it's been awesome. Weight lifting and high intensity cardio are part of the program. Nothing impossible to do. And you get a day off! BUT, the biggest secret is the nutrition factor. And I saw it happening; I saw the magic happening in 2010. Muscles growing and strong Denise appearing!

The program and my personal Trainer (Brad Minns) taught me the importance of eating enough protein. Basically, to put on muscle, really, you gotta eat 1g of protein per pound (not Kilo!) of body weight. Right now I weigh 125 pounds, so, I should consume 125g of protein every day to increase my lean muscle mass, decrease my body fat and become lean. I have long been the "fake skinny", having low body weight but no muscles - which was the case when I first met Brad in 2010, weighing in at only 117 pounds. But my body fat % then was 28%!!! Wow! Super high body fat % with no muscles. Something was wrong. I changed that around and at the end of 12 weeks, I weighed 121 pounds with 18% fat - for my height, the borderline from normal to lean. I looked and felt so much stronger.

Without the higher intake of protein, I would have NEVER achieved those results. Eating clean along with it was a must, of course, so, cutting sugars and white flour, pasta, too much bread,...all that was minimal. Drinking plenty of water to stay hydrated was a daily task, while eating every 3-4 hours became the norm. I was never hungry!

My point on protein is this, and this is what I've been reading all long: To maintain your muscles while casually working out, at least 0.8g per pound (not Kilo!) of body weight. To increase muscle mass, you must up this. You must fuel your muscles! You must give them the building blocks to GROW. I've done it, and I know it works. 1 to 1.5g of protein per pound of body weight!

Now, doing it again, I'm taking it up a notch, including supplements for exercising and adding protein shakes, which, oh my goodness, have SO much protein (30g!) and taste so great! Protein keeps you full and satisfied for a long time. Variety is key! Be creative!

Here a picture of a few great protein sources I use on a daily basis, low in fat, low in sugar, low in calories overall (I didn't take a picture of eggs, egg whites, cottage cheese, smoked  salmon, quinoa, tofu, soy, brown rice, beans, but all of these I consume as well!):

This Muscle Milk protein shake is DELICIOUS. 

Both "Oh Yeah" and "Power Crunch" bars are packed with protein and SO yummy.

Almond Butter is a great substitute for those with peanut allergies! 

I hope you enjoyed this post and hope you share the passion for a healthy lifestyle! One more secret: Don't be paranoid! The occasional "treat" is totally OK! Pizza, chocolate, ice cream, fries...we all have those faves!

WHY?

A questionnaire of honesty between your mind, your heart and your soul. Give it a try.

Why buy a pair of shoes that hurt you as soon as you put them on?
Why eat something that you don't really like?
Why dress to make a fashion statement when it's not actually your style?
Why date someone who doesn't make you laugh?
Why take a job because "at least it's a job"?
Why not *ask* if the worst that can happen is to receive a "no"?
Why drink or smoke just because others are doing it?
Why not try something new?
Why accept things the way they are because "that's the way they are"?
Why not fight for what you truly believe in?
Why give up and think "there's nothing I can do.."?
Why undermine your own power and abilities?
Why not believe you are indeed very talented?
Why attend a gathering you're not interested in?
Why buy something to make the sales person happy?
Why not ask for help when all you really want is help?
Why insist no advice given to you can ever be good?
Why believe you simply can't?
Why befriend someone who doesn't add value to your life?
Why not forgive?
Why choose negativity over positive thoughts?
Why do something you don't want to?
Why live in uncertainty?
Why not believe your dreams can come true?
Why not make decisions just because others have made them already?

Why settle for less when you can change all of this around? Why?   

We are fully responsible for our lives. 
At any point, we can say "No more". At any point we can start doing what is right for us and for our loved ones. At any point, we can ask for help. Don't accept it just the way it is. If you even think you should go against it, why are you not?

What is holding you back to BE the best human being you can ever be?

(Image found on Google Images)

Make it special...

This weekend, make sure you make it special!

Make coffee time special and play with your senses. Have coffee outside in your garden, on the porch or by the lake. If it's cold, have coffee by the fire and play soft music. Sit on the floor with your pets or look at old family pictures. If the kids are around, have coffee while you color or while you watch a great family movie.

Make it special.
Start noticing more and more how each minute counts. Don't rush.

This is here at the house. My Brazilian Melitta "extra forte" coffee truly smells delicious! Did you notice the detail on the coffee mug? 

And if you don't like coffee, no problem...enjoy a great cup of tea! This reminds me...oh, how I'd love to enjoy a delicious Afternoon Tea one of these days again!

Happy Saturday morning and a beautiful weekend to all!

So, why Kindness?

When I was an Etiquette Consultant, I had a wide range of topics to talk about. All of them were coated with kindness. Kindness was always present. After leaving the Etiquette Consulting Industry, I didn't entirely let go: I held on as strongly as I could to Kindness. This was in 2010 and my life has continuously been directed by kindness ever since.

I noticed kindness came disguised as so many different values, actions and virtues: goodness, consideration, friendliness, charity, honest concern, positive attitude, joyful disposition, a smile, the right words at the right time, politeness, generosity, a hug, love, a helping hand and so much more.

I also noticed the kinder I was, the better I felt, immediately! NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
In addition, I noticed the more kindness I applied to my life, the more kindness happened to me in return. Again, no doubt about it. This has proven to be as true as it could be.

This is when I came up with the phrase "Be Kind. Feel Good.", that I still use nowadays, especially here as my Blog posts' signature. (More about "BKFG" later)

Simply put, when you act kindly, you WILL feel good. There is no way kindness coming from your part will EVER make you feel bad. It's impossible. If it does, then that act didn't truly come from the heart. Pay attention to this in your daily life.

I love how my daughter's school focuses so much on kindness. One of the classroom's rules states "My heart is kind" and kids are expected to respect that on a daily basis, from early on (we're talking about Pre-K age, 4-5 years old!).

If there's something GREAT in life that can truly enhance my life and the lives of my loved ones, I will do it. Kindness, while always having been used in my family when growing up, only became truly apparent and totally transparent to me as an adult, and this is the time when I can and will fully use it. Research has shown that (and I apologize for not being able to give you a correct citation at this time. I promise to look it up and post it when I find it!) when a person lives a kind life, meaning, consciously applies kindness on a daily basis, the brain's neurotransmitters in charge of activating feelings that make you relaxed and content are released. That's why when you're truly kind, you'll feel good for sure. I've been doing it for years, and so can you.

This Blog has Kindness as its theme. I don't want to just talk about random acts of kindness (which actually I haven't done yet!), but want to show you how Kindness can, indeed, be part of your daily life in pretty much all you do! From preparing meals and caring for your home, to making others feel good, to taking care of yourself, your family, friends and children, to finding meaningful and useful gifts, to checking out how businesses and others are making a difference and how you can help by practicing charity or what great products are out there that have that touch of kindness. Mostly, as a woman and a Mom, I know how hectic and super crazy life can be! Whether you work a lot, have children or pets as your babies, or a business as your baby, a demanding family overall, we CANNOT forget to be kind to ourselves. Be kind to yourself as well, and feel good, which will immediately have an enormously positive impact on your surroundings!

Hugs to all of you!

From my personal "Collection"!...

Don't we all have things we simply love? Some people are crazy about shoes. Others love journals and fancy pens. I have a friend who's the biggest "PEZ" collector (yes, the candy!...Hi, chica!)! We all have things, stuff, we love! These things make us happy, don't they?
I, for example, LOVE pajamas! If you know me, you didn't see this one coming, huh? I sort of collect pajamas! I use them, I really do! I'm a bit of a fake collector, guess. I USE my collections - I don't just leave them alone.
Another collection that I actively use is SOAPS! I LOVE soaps! The more, the merrier!

There are a few requirements for a soap to make it into may collection, though: It's gotta be "cruelty free" (not tested on animals" and should have the least amount of animal products (such as honey, goat milk etc) as possible. Handcrafted soaps are a big hit in my collection!

Some soaps I truly love come from two companies that are so hip and won't break your wallet: "Shea Moisture" and "Pharmacopia". The soaps from Shea Moisture are made in the U.S.A. and I find them at Walgreens and Target, while Pharmacopia soaps, made in Canada, I buy at The Vitamin Shoppe! You see, nothing that will require you to spend a lot. And the smell SO good!

Let me show you some examples of these great soaps that would also make great GIFTS!
Below you will see pictures of 4 soaps. It's so sad you can't smell them!...

While I love these 4 soaps, I'd like to point out the "African Black Soap" (great for troubled, combination skin - bumps on your back, anyone?). There is such an incredible story behind this soap! In 1912, Sofi Tucker started selling Shea Nuts at their local market in the small village of Bonthe, in Sierra Leone. When she was 19, this Mom of 4 and at that time widow, had a wide array of natural beauty products she was selling; all homemade! Sofi left a legacy, empowering disadvantaged women to follow their dreams of a bigger and brighter future! When you purchase these soaps from Shea Moisture, you're helping a wonderful cause! Isn't this simply amazing? Give the gift of kindness, to yourself and your loved ones!

I AM very fond of food...

Where can I even start with this book?
It's got such natural charm and beauty, it evokes happy feelings in me!
Sophie Dahl did a tremendous job.

I first saw this book at Barnes & Noble and, of course, it immediately caught my attention. It's hard cover! It's BEAUTIFUL. The pictures inside make you want to "steal her life" for a second. They make you wanna run to the kitchen and cook and bake everything you possibly can.

The book is called "Very Fond of Food. A year in recipes" (2011), and the author invites the reader to join her in an adventure of life, food, laughter, stories and images so rich you can't help but fall in love. What a masterpiece and what wonderful recipes one can find inside! two of my favorite so far are:W\ Watercress and Gruyere Souffles, and Panettone bread-and-butter pudding! Oh, yum.

Sophie has tons of great recipes that incorporate loads of veggies and just a few meat-based recipes. As a Pescatorian, I value that a lot!

If you don't love food and don't love cooking, I understand, but this book makes for a GREAT gift.
Don't forget to write a few kind words to go along with your gift! :)